Resting Bitch Face or RBF is very real and affects millions of people worldwide. RBF is the term for someone who’s resting or natural face looks sad or angry for no reason. Experts have indeed confirmed that this is a real phenomenon and as a sufferer myself I thought I would compile a list of my daily struggles of living with Resting Bitch Face. (As you can see from my mug shot over there on the right, I am on the severe scale of RBF.)
‘Are You Feeling Ok?’
The common misconception by almost everyone on the planet is that something is wrong and you are mad at someone. You can see your colleague tentatively approaching you to ask you something. She questions whether you are feeling ok for the tenth time that day and then ‘BAM’ Now your fucking pissed off and my god does she know it!
This one is often said by blokes, men, bellends. You could be out in a club having a great time, throwing back the sambuca and dancing with your girlfriends and then some idiot bloke from the other side of the bar comes over to you just to say ‘Smile’ He makes a goofy face and grins a cheshire cat smile and then ‘BAM’ You want to kill that bellend for ruining your good mood.
You can’t joke about anything.
You try your best to make a joke about a situation but your face is just giving off so much RBF that everyone thinks you are being serious. Everyone will stare at you awkwardly unsure whether to brush it off or ask if you are feeling ok. ‘BAM’ Your career in comedy is straight out of the window.
‘Well you could try and look happy for me’
Oh bollocks your friend has just told you she’s engaged and your RBF is in full on Bitchy bitch bitch mode. She sees your face and instantly assumes you disapprove of the engagement. She’s now shouting at you for not being a good friend. ‘BAM’ Full blown row. You didn’t fucking like her or her shitty ass boyfriend anyway. Maybe RBF isn’t so bad after all.
‘The first time I met you I thought you were a Bitch’
Your now BFF reminisces about the time she first met you in drama school. You were both sat opposite each other in a circle and had to go around introducing yourself. Unfortunately when it was your turn you were so nervous you glared even harder than ever at the person opposite. Your RBF kicked into overload and you had a staring contest with the girl opposite. Thankfully she gave you the benefit of the doubt and now ‘BAM’ you are completely inseparable.
‘Don’t worry I’ll take it back and get something else’
It’s your Birthday or Christmas. The dreaded time of the year when you have to open gifts in front of other people. Everyone is watching you now. There is no where to hide. You pick up the largest present in the pile in front of you and open it with caution. I mean you’ve no idea if your RBF is going to flare up or not. The gift is from your mother and the present I mean yeah it’s alright but your Resting Bitch Face says otherwise. ‘BAM’ Your Mother has picked up said gift and put it to one side saying not to worry she will swap it for something else.
But don’t worry folks it’s not all doom and gloom having Resting Bitch Face. At least you will have less wrinkles than your friends! ‘SUCKERS!’